The Interferences while listening in coaching

“We don’t respond to what happens, we respond to our perception of what happens. That’s what Buddha said, it’s with our minds we create the world.” — Dr Gabor Mate

Listening is an important skill while being in a coaching mindset. Coaches use all senses to listen fully. They look for non-verbal clues in the client’s attitudes and emotions. Today I am sharing my thoughts on what I have been learning. I would like you to explore with me rather than agree or disagree so that we can all grow together. Please share your thoughts in the comments on any other type of interferences or noises you think can impact listening.

The focus during active listening is on what the coachee really means by the words that they are using during the conversation. Coaches need to be fully present in the conversation and be self-aware of the external and internalinterferences.

We’re given two ears and one mouth so that we listen twice as much as we speak.

Internal interferences

What are the internal interferences? Let’s explore it together.

What is going inside you as a coach is as important as what is going inside the coachee. How are you feeling on the day and time of the session? What is happening in your life as a coach which is taking your mind away to be fully present during the session?

Are you feeling judgemental and biased towards the coachee? Are there any worries which are troubling you? Are you feeling sympathetic rather than empathetic towards the situation the coachee is sharing? Are you as a coach feeling pressured on the expectations coachee may have of you? Are you feeling hungry or fatigued? Have a headache or pain? Thinking about what to say next?

Are you listening to understand what the coachee is not saying or you are making own thoughts during the conversation?

When you are listening with internal interferences, you are at Level 1 of listening where your intention is focused on your thoughts, feelings and internal chatter.

Performance is potential minus interference. — Tim Gallwey

To get the best performance as a coach we need to be aware when internal interferences are impacting our presence in the session and move back to the state of active listening.

External Interferences

There could be many external interferences that can impact our listening during the conversation. A quiet place always helps, from both the coach and the coachee. Is there anything visually impacting you as a coach which is present in the room? As now we are doing more sessions remotely, there could be issues with the connection, some backgrounds coachee can use.

It could be the traffic while you reaching the session or the traffic noise from outside. It could be you or the coachee forgetting to put the phone on silent or a text message beep.

In the below video, Geoff talks about how to increase the listening skills and mentions practising blocking out all noise just one.

While you can control internal interferences to a certain degree, you may not be able to control external interferences. So work towards your listening skills as best as you can be.